The life you want is on the other side of a mind you love.

Woah, hey now, before you roll your eyes thinking that line’s corny and go back to trolling on Reddit, let me tell you a quick story.

For a long time, I didn’t like myself. Actually, I was pretty f*cking mean. I thought you had to be in order to will yourself into doing what you needed to do to be a good, “real,” man. No hate on the Gogginses of the world, but that’s just not me. I play WoW, love a good candle haul, and cry at an uncomfortably large number of movies (no, for real, like this last one might actually be a problem).

What I have learned, slowly, is that being kind to yourself is much more productive. That learning to love yourself (yes, I used the L word) is a stronger motivator for all the things you want to accomplish. It’s made me a better husband, a better dog dad, a better friend, a better writer — but most of all, it’s given me the permission to be more me.

I want these words to do the same for you. To help you craft a mind that fights for you, not against you, in building the life you’re capable of living.

What does the title Bending Pink Steel mean?

I love a good analogy, so let me explain.

Bending steel is a feat of strength you see in strongman competitions. It's wild to see in person, and it also sets the precedent that you have to look a certain way to be able to do the same thing (see: massive).

But anyone can bend steel with the right tools. A few shallow cuts in the right places, a little heat, a bit of leverage, and even the toughest beams can be reshaped. Even into art.

Pink steel is your brain. The work we do here helps you bend it into the beautiful structure it can be.

Who tf is David Ramos!?

Woah, simmer down now young padawan. No need to get hostile 😅.

I’ve had a lot of trouble answering this question over the years. But a few years back, I got a piece of advice from one of my favorite authors that has served as a rallying call for me: “You’ve got to love all the David Ramoses.”

So, that’s what I’m learning to do.

For nearly a decade, I worked in higher ed while building a writing career on the side in the religious space. Eventually, it worked. I became a full-time author…only to "deconstruct" my faith a few years in. If that doesn't mean anything to you, I'll explain one day down the road. Just know, I never felt so lost in my life. I essentially gave up everything – my community, my career, my life as I knew it – and had to rebuild from the ground up.

I learned to pay the bills with marketing jobs and flirted with writing projects here and there. I focused on my family, our health, and keeping our 81-year-old house in one piece.

I’m obviously skipping lots of juicy details (for now), but all of that led me here—to becoming the version of me that I am today. One that can write about where I’ve been without regret, grief, or anger.

Now, hopefully, my stories can help you see a little differently so you can live a little differently. And maybe love all the yous you’ve been along the way.

What do I get for subscribing?

Cool sh*t. Well, at least I think it’s cool. And subscribers get a say in what other cool stuff we add along the way.

Right now, here’s what’s on the docket.

Free subs

  • Wednesday Hump Day challenges

  • Previews of all paid posts

  • Occasional extra freebies when I get struck by the generosity bug, or there's just a vibe about something that screams, "Set me free or I'll cut you," because that has happened.

Paid subs

  • Monday's main series newsletter

  • Comments turned on so you can say good things

  • Access to the e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g in the archive

  • Audio versions of all available posts (I’ve heard them described as mini-podcast episodes)

  • Ability to submit questions, ideas, and more to guide future posts and perks


Is BPS only for men?

No way, Jose. Or Josie. I actually don’t see gender. Or race. Mostly cause I’m 60% legally blind in one eye.

I write for men because that’s all I’ve ever been, and lord knows we could use the help. But whether you have an innie or an outie, you’re more than welcome to read, share, and subscribe!

What’s with the series?

You ever get bored eating the same thing every single day? Like what if you could only have chicken, rice, and broccoli for lunch and dinner forever! I mean, sure, you’d eventually look like a young Antonio Banderas (or maybe you already do you smoldering spy daddy). But you'd be bored to tears every time you picked up a fork.

That’s how I feel about writing the sameeeee stuff week in and week out.

Writing in series adds a rhythm to the work. An ebb and flow, where I can step out, look at the bigger picture of what we're trying to do here and find an interesting place to step back in.

Ideally, it keeps it interesting for you, too. Some series are going to absolutely smack you in between the eyes. Others, not so much. And that's ok. What I care about is offering what I can, how I can, so that you can build a mind you love that gets you the life you want.

(Spoiler alert: It’s closer than you think.)

Bonus Tip: Referrals

Ok, you definitely deserve a prize for making it to the end. Here it is: a way to read BPS for free. For every person you refer (i.e., they use your unique link on the Leaderboard page to subscribe), you get a month of the paid version comped. One referral = one free month.

Boom, easy like Sunday morning.

Subscribe to Bending Pink Steel

For men who want to love their minds.


David Ramos, MA, MEd, is the creator of Bending Pink Steel. He lives in Cleveland, Ohio, with his wife, Bre, and his pup, Ajax.