Challenge #12: Styling a Confident Brain

Mindful dressing for busy men.

There’s a quote I like by entrepreneur Peter Voogd that says,

“You’re either helping or hurting your confidence at all times. There is no in-between.”

At all times means the little stuff counts too.

The hole in your sock. The tattered belt. The shirt that’s a bit more wrinkled than it should be.

All of it matters.

The solution isn’t to become an anal-retentive perfectionist (like seriously, don’t do this – for all our sakes!). The answer is much simpler than that.

The “fix” is attention.

When you pay attention, you always get something in return. In the case of your clothing, it’s confidence.

So, let’s practice with this modified mindfulness technique.¹

1. You're going to ask yourself a series of questions that will each take only a few seconds to answer. If you usually get your clothes ready the night before, do this then. If you're a morning person, do it as soon as you get out of bed. The first question is: How am I feeling right now? There is no right or wrong answer. Just ask the question and listen for what comes up.

2. Next, ask the second question: How do I want to feel? Again, there’s no shoulds here. This is about you asking yourself what you need to make today a success.

3. Make your way to your closet or dresser, and ask this third question as you touch each piece of clothing you consider: How does this make me feel?

The goal is alignment (or congruence). Every item you wear should match the answer to question two or get you as close as possible.

It’ll definitely feel a little kumbaya at first if you’ve never done mindfulness stuff before, but the real question you’ll have to answer for yourself (for every challenge on BPS) is this — what am I willing to do to bring my best self to the world?

PS: Your sock drawer thanks you.

1. Both Dawwn Karen and Dr. David Hawkins share practices like this in their work. This is my spin on it.